No thanks December

It's December.  I think I despise this month more than any other month in the year.  Let me rephrase - I know I despise this month more than any other month in the year.  I actually welcome January and the start of tax busy season with open arms after December.  The days between Thanksgiving and Christmas in our household are chaotic.  It's usually this time every year that Mike starts in on how we should move to a warmer climate and I try to remind myself why I love my job.  Taking a vacation the week before Thanksgiving seemed like a good idea.  We'd come back to a short week at work and be able to catch our breath the couple of days we have off.  We'd have a "vacation" from our vacation.

And then we remembered that the holidays aren't relaxing - especially if the night before Thanksgiving you try and close down the bar by dancing the night away drinking vodka tonics on an empty stomach.  McDonald's breakfast can only help you so far...

I'll warn you now (if you haven't already gathered thus far) that this is more of a mom anxiety post.  It's long overdue - we've been in such a groove lately thinking we had this whole work-life pendulum swing just the way we wanted.  But December has arrived again to give us a good swift kick back into the reality that just as you think you've got it figured out, you don't.

At this time last year I was on the verge of checking myself into the hospital with the plague and seemed to "breeze" through this month.  December always sends my stress level through the roof and I only do it to myself.  I let myself get overwhelmed by all aspects of our life and I need to rely on Mike's laidbackness to get us through the month.

This year I volunteered at the national level to help facilitate at BDO's national continuing education conferences.  For whatever reason, my stint at DU has left me itching to continue teaching but not able to get back there given the addition of Lily.  BDO has been able to allow me to satisfy this need by molding the young minds of our associate levels - which means I need to travel more often.  In addition, to meet some of the personal career goals I have, I've gone back to work pretty much full-time.  Full-time in any other industry but not quite full-time in public accounting.  I've taken on some new adventures and am excited to see where it leads me but second guess myself every other day wondering if I've bitten off more than I can chew.  Especially when I'm up at 5:30 in the morning reading through operating agreements or stuck in the car for six hours for a 90 minute meeting or I can't shut my brain off and start dreaming a client could get the $15 million he needs in capital if he grew a money tree in his backyard.  Especially when my daughter wakes up in the morning and says "oh thank goodness you're still here" or when I can't remember the last time I talked to Mike other than to confirm he was picking our kid up from daycare, feeding her, and making sure she brushes her teeth.  Especially when I'm sitting at the dance studio on my laptop surrounded by stay at home moms in their yoga pants and bright colored running leggings listening to them talk about which MOPS group or language immersion program is the best or how they spent 3 hours at the Verizon store trying to decide which new cell phone to get.  Especially when I have to send my girlfriends calendar appointments for play dates.  Especially when I know I made this choice - Mike helped me make this choice and has supported me every step of the way.

So what's different than last December?  Lily introduced the guilt factor into the playbook last year so you'd think we would have been prepared for anything she pulled out of her hat.  We most definitely weren't prepared for how hard she would be on herself or how much anxiety she would have about not being perfect.  She is our little worry wart.  She is her Uncle B.  And I pray that we have the strength to survive her teenage years.  She is worried she didn't get enough practice time to learn the songs her new classroom is singing in the Christmas play.  She insists we practice them each night before bed.  She will tirelessly use the coffee table as her ballet bar and practice her toe points and shuffles or whatever they're called.  She will spend hours of concentration on one page in her coloring book to make sure she doesn't go outside the lines.  She has an answer and emotion for everything.  Mike and I have been discussing how we're failing because we don't know how to fix the anxiety but in fact we're faced with the fear that we're not failing at all.  That we're somehow raising this little tiny person who is so compassionate and too smart for us.  We've been hit with the reality that we have to make sure we provide challenging opportunities for this little tiny person who went from our little baby to little girl over night.

Bookshelf Makeover

The first week we moved in my mom and I attacked the red dining room.  The color I chose was the same one I'd used in our living room at Burton Woods.  Man I miss that natural light from that house.

But when we'd finished painting the dining room at Goodwood, I was extremely disappointed with the color.  It wasn't the same and I was convinced they'd mixed the color wrong.  

Mike wanted to repaint it a different color but given the state of the rest of the house, it was on the bottom of the to-do list.  Near the top however, was doing something to those book shelves.  A couple of weekends ago Lily and I were laying in the living room (still completely unfurnished) complaining that we were bored.  We'd just eaten dinner and had been cooped up inside all day due to gloomy weather.  Mike suggested we stop being lazy and paint the bookshelves.  At first I laughed at him but then I got motivated - why not paint the picture window too?  So we hopped in the car and drove to an antique store in Lowell that carries the Annie Sloan chalk paint and set out to work.  My "quick" Saturday evening project finally wrapped up a week later after deciding I wanted to do something crazy (Mike's words) and line the back with a fun fabric print.  

The white paint on the window has taken the yellow tint out of the room and the blue is finally the blue I remembered.  Now for a new light fixture and this room is COMPLETE!

Uncle B is Getting Married!

This post isn't exactly timely compared to the actual event (story of my life these days) however I felt I needed to blog about it.  The big PROPOSAL happened the same day I last updated but the news wasn't public yet so I had to sit on some pretty decent photos before I was allowed to share.

When my brother originally asked me if I would tag along to photograph the proposal it was only a couple of days in advance.  I was super nervous since the last time I was in charge of something like this, I totally missed it and just got the post tears of happiness (sorry Brett and Hollie).  But then the ring didn't come in on time and my soon to be sister-in-law and I hit the spike apple cider a little too hard at Mike's 30th so it was a blessing the timing got pushed.  It meant I had time to surf Pinterest for some ideas and get to know my camera again.  I mean - this was a big deal.

Mike, Lily, and I met Brayden and Jacqueline at Robinette's on a beautifully busy day which only annoyed Brayden who I thought was visibly nervous.  He didn't give me any warning and just dropped to his knee - good thing I was somewhat paying attention.  The photos turned out great although I would have loved to have been on the other side so I could have seen her face.

The date has been set for next August and I couldn't be more excited to add yet another sister-in-law to my family.  And this one actually lives in the same state (hint hint Hoy ladies).

Indian Summer

By the title of my last post you never would have thought we'd be getting one last boat ride in or be picking apples in 70 degree weather.

Yesterday morning the fog was rolling down the river and we hopped out of bed to capture it before the sun burnt it all away.  The thermostat read 45 degrees but I couldn't pass up the opportunity to snap a few of Lily in the morning light - messy hair and grumpy face aside - the light was perfect.

Once again we somehow picked the best (and busiest) day to pick some apples.  Last year we ended up in shorts and t-shirts and probably should have been again today!  The apples were slim pickins and the line for donuts was insane but we had a good time.

Baby it's cold outside!

It's actually not.  In fact, it's eight thirty in the evening and still 78 degrees out with 90% humidity.  And our daughter is in heaven.  Pure bliss in fact.  When Mike picked her up from school today she told him she was just a hot mess.  Our kid lives for this weather.  She's going to be on the big time struggle bus these coming weeks as the weather actually begins to transition to fall.

The last couple of weeks as the calendar left summer behind and we sporadically endured a few chilly days, our daughter thought the world was coming to an end.  While most of you know that Lily chooses her fashions each morning, you'll also know that these couple of days I was on the struggle bus as I sent my kid to school looking like a hobo dressed in layer upon layer upon layer.  I put my foot down when she climbed into the closet and came out with her snow pants.  I mean - come on - you would have too.

And this one - while not cold weather driven - at least shows you the pain I've been internalizing as I let her free spirit fly and her outfits clash.

Before this year, Labor Day seemed to mark the end to our summers on the water.  It meant the boat and dock were taken out at my parents and work would pickup for year-end for both Mike and I.  We sent summer off with what is hopefully a new tradition at Austin Lake - a fabulous fish boil complete with mussels (who knew Lily and I would BOTH like them).

We've been doing our best to take full advantage of the river these beautiful summer evenings.  Between Lily's new dance class, work, and our endless to-do list, we seem to always find a few minutes for a quick spin.

This past weekend we celebrated Mike's 30th birthday.  I can't believe I only took these few photos but we had a great time catching up with friends and family in town from across the country.