My husband doesn't babysit

I'm back in the airport waiting to board another flight.  This week its Cinci.  Two weeks ago it was Pittsburgh.  I'm all caught up on email (dare I even say it?) so I thought I'd share a pet peeve of mine.

I'm the kind of person who travels with my headphones in.  If they aren't already in when I board a plane, they go in immediately after I'm settled.  Usually this closes the door for small talk and niceties with the person I share a row with.  I say USUALLY because on my most recent trip someone didn't take the hint.  On my return flight to Detroit, I had the "pleasure" of sitting next to a nice woman who wanted to know my entire life story.  And having my headphones in and iPad up, didn't deter her from pressing and pressing.

To make matters worse, she took on a topic that really makes my blood boil.  She saw the picture of my girls (of course splayed across my iPad screen) and asked how my husband survived babysitting when I traveled so much.

I politely replied with my standard response "My husband doesn't babysit".  Now.  This comment is USUALLY when people get my drift that I'm annoyed.  It's usually the comment that screams I can't believe you implied my husband is a babysitter instead of just being a dad.  

But with confusion across her face, she asked "Then your mom lives close?"

Me: "She's a little over an hour away.  Sometimes she makes the trip up to help."

Annoying lady: "Then do you have a nanny?"

Me: "Nope!"

Annoying lady: "Then who babysits?"

I kid you not.  This was about the time I considered asking for a glass of wine on our 30 minute flight but couldn't find a flight attendant.

It seemed to be so shocking that my husband ACTUALLY took care of our kids when I worked outside the traditional 8-5 time frame.  Why wasn't it shocking that I was home by myself with the girls when Mike traveled?  Why did I not get shout outs for being a rock star mom?

I'm not an overly huge stand on your soap box kind of person.  Everyone has different lifestyles and chooses different paths.  But it kills me when people make the comment about dads babysitting.  Or playing Mr. Mom.  People talk about marriage being a partnership and how there's a lot of give and take.  Sometimes it's 50-50 but sometimes it's 80-20.  Parenting shouldn't be any different.  And for us its not.

When I travel, Mike does it all.  And when he travels, I do it all.  Sure there are times when we have to call in reinforcements, arrange carpooling - I mean it takes a village to raise a child.  But we share kid responsibilities the rest of the time too.  I do morning daycare/bus stop and Mike picks up.  Unless I'm downtown at which point it makes no sense for Mike to drive past our house when I'm driving past daycare.  So he starts dinner.  I do bath time and Mike cleans up the kitchen.  I do laundry because I'm incredibly picky about it.  Mike runs the vacuum.  We alternate bedtime.  Does he do it the way I do it?  Nope.  And over the years I've had to come to terms with that being ok.  For the sake of my sanity.

We attack parenting together.  Because at this point, in our life, there's no other way to attack it.  It's exhausting for sure.  We schedule breaks.  There's no way we could survive without our nights out - either together or separately.  And that's healthy!  Not just for our kids but for our relationship too.

So there's my little soapbox spiel today.  My husband is a rock star.  Not because he takes care of his kids - well partially that - but because he supports ME in the life WE want together.