Work-Life Fit

Last week two of my senior associates gave a presentation to our interns about work-life fit.  The presentation gave a unique perspective to the often heard terms "work-life balance" which implies that work and your life outside of work are held to the same regard, they must be equally balanced.  I found this statement to hit me hard since I've been trying to balance my work-life capacity for the last three years.  It gave me a new theory to look into.  Instead of attempting to balance, I really need to fit work into my life.  And most days I think I am.  

Three weeks from today busy season will be over.  It's about this time every year that I get completely burnt out and tend to lose sight of what's important.  This is about the time that Mike and Lily survive on hot dogs and pizza until April 17 (because who wants to cook on the 16th?)  This is about the time the vacuuming stops and the laundry piles up everywhere.  This is about the time my mom comes to the rescue and takes Lily for a week so Mike gets a break from being super dad.  We're just in survival mode - trying to finish the marathon.  I thought I was going to be more prepared this year - 30 some meals were prepared in my freezer in January, we hired a cleaning lady, and my mom is swooping in next week.  

I wasn't, however, ready for the emotional guilt Lily was going to start laying on - and she's been laying it on thick.  For the most part, my flexible work arrangement has been great.  It's allowed me to be home for dinner nearly every night and to enjoy weekends with Mike and Lily.  But it's had to evolve over the last two and half years.  It used to be easy to get back online after Lily went to bed at 6:30.  Now she goes to bed at 8:00 and by the time I reboot my computer back up it's usually 9:00 and I'm exhausted.  So I've become a morning person - kind of - and have been getting up with Mike at 5:30 to start my workday before Lily gets up.  And I've been staying late at the office one night every other week.  

Until this week.  Yesterday when I dropped Lily off at school she was aware it was my "late night" and asked me what present I was going to bring her.  Racking my brain, I realized that every night I'd been home late I showed up with some sort of treat - cookies, candy, hula hoop, crazy odds and ends left over from recruiting events.  I was starting a bad habit....because I felt guilty for not being home.  Coincidentally, a director in my office circulated some great working mom articles yesterday and I decided this week I would be home.  Today I left work at 4:00 and raced to Lily's tea party at school.  I was anxious because I hadn't sat at my desk all day and my inbox had 32 unread messages when I left but that feeling left immediately when I heard Lily shrieking as I walked through the door.  She couldn't wait to show me the tea party decorations and cookies and hang out with her friends while they drank pink lemonade from tiny tea cups.

So tomorrow when my alarm buzzes at 5:30 and I curse busy season, I'll think about that look on Lily's face this afternoon and remember that I really can do it all.